How can you tell to someone that you hate her, but the truth is deep inside your heart you are truly falling in love to her.
You are just to scare to admit it but you just cannot lie to your own heart how you miss her. So my advice, try chat here on lesbo chat.
You can get many advice from the elder in lesbo chat room, I mean they are who already pass this problem and know the way out of all bad situation.
Do not worry free advice on here cause it is free lesbo chat